


It's Alright, It's Okay

by tonyjasper99



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Anxiety, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Jon Needs a Hug, M/M, Monster!Jon, Moth Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Wings, moth jon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:14:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25501960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tonyjasper99/pseuds/tonyjasper99
Summary: “Gorgeous,” Martin said, “and the wings look good too.”--Jon discovers that the word "chrysalis" was quite literal.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Comments: 8
Kudos: 183





	It's Alright, It's Okay

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first real fic that I'm actually posting. I wanted to write more TMA fic and my roommate gave me the prompt for Moth!Jon so here we are. 
> 
> CW for typical Jon self hatred and feeling like a monster
> 
> Title from "It's alright" by Mother Mother

It had been the first time that Jon had given a statement since he had, well, to simply put it, started the apocalypse. He had realized that he and Martin had to leave the cabin and go find Elias in the Panopticon, and he knew it wasn’t going to be an easy journey, but it was the first step in trying to turn the world back to how it used to be.

Jon kept thinking back to one part of the statement in particular.  _ The Eye wishes instead that it be my chrysalis. It is time that I emerge _ , Jon had said in regards to the cabin. That phrase kept repeating in his mind as he rummaged around the bedroom, where he was waiting while Martin had gone to pack a few last minute things.  _ It is time that I emerge. _ Jon left the bedroom, and went to the front door.  _ It is time that I emerge _ . Jon closed his eyes, turned the knob, and walked outside. 

As he walked outside, Jon looked up at the sky, and the sky looked back. With all the eyes of the sky piercing into him, he felt himself being lifted slowly off his feet. He wasn’t scared; even though he didn’t know what was happening, he  _ knew _ the Eye didn’t want him hurt. 

As Jon was floating in the air, he started to feel a warm, tingling feeling spreading through his back. It felt like something was sprouting underneath his skin, but Jon wasn't scared. There was no pain, if anything, Jon felt at peace. Suddenly a feeling of weight was sitting on his back and he was put back down on the ground, falling down to his knees. After a few moments had passed he reached back, feeling where his shirt was ripped, and felt his fingers brush against something smooth. He gently grabbed on and he looked and brought it forward to get a better look at it and he realized that it was a wing.  _ Saturnia pavonia, _ Jon heard in his head,  _ emperor moth. Guess that means I have wings now, _ he thought.

Jon quietly snuck back inside, hearing Martin rummaging around in the kitchen, and quickly snuck into the bedroom, locking the door behind him. He walked over to the mirror, ripping off the rest of his tattered shirt and spread his new wings, getting a better look at himself. The wings were elegant; yellow and brown with four eye looking spots staring back at him in the mirror. 

Jon sighed and hung his head, wings folding down behind him. “Fitting,” he mumbled, “make me look more like a monster.” Sitting on the edge of the bed, he began to worry about what Martin would think.  _ He’ll finally see me for the monster I am _ , he thought, stricken with fear. He knew he had to hide this, he couldn't let Martin know. 

Jon looked around the room for whatever he could use to hide his new wings and ended up deciding to layer up using some sweaters. It took three sweaters to finally manage to hide the bulge on his back from the wings, but it was worth it to keep it hidden from Martin. He loved him and if Martin found out, surely he would finally be afraid of who he had become. 

_ Knock knock.  _ Jon heard Martin at the door and froze. “Jon? Are you in there?” Martin asked, trying the door handle. 

Jon, knowing he couldn’t hide forever, sighed and answered, “yeah, I’ll be right there.” He went over and opened the door to see the larger man in front of him and gave him a soft smile .”Hey.”

“Hey, are you almost ready?” Martin asked. Jon nodded and wrapped his arms around Martin, sinking into him as he hugged him back. “Are you okay?” Martin took Jon by the shoulders and gently pried him backwards to get a better look at him. 

Jon tried to hide his anxiety and fear behind a smile, but Martin was able to see through him. “What’s wrong, Jon?” Martin asked. “You’re still okay to leave right? You said that this cabin, well, it isn’t good for us.”

“No, no, we can go soon. Nothing’s wrong.” Jon reached up and grabbed Martin’s hand, intertwining his fingers between his. “It’s just...I love you.”

Martin smiled, leaned forward, and gave Jon’s forehead a tender kiss. He pulled back and looked more closely at Jon. “You’re so warm. You should change into something lighter,” Martin said, reaching for a t-shirt that was hanging off the side of the bed.

“No!” Jon quickly yelled, startling Martin. He felt his wings move in response to his outburst and he feared Martin had seen it. “No, um, no I feel really cold.”

“Jon, look at you, you’re sweating. You at least don’t need, what, like three sweaters?” 

“No, really Martin I’m okay. I’m just chilly. Maybe I’m coming down with something, who knows.” Jon carefully walked around to the side of the bed opposite of Martin, out of reach in case he tried to get Jon out of the sweaters. “Is everything packed and ready to go?” Jon asked, trying to distract Martin from the matter at hand.

“Yes, but,” Martin sat on the edge of the bed, reaching out for Jon, “I want to know what’s wrong first. You’re hiding something, I don’t need any powers to know that. Please just talk to me.”

Jon sighed and went to sit next to Martin. “I’m a monster. This cabin is my chrysalis and I have emerged and I have come out a monster. I-I have wings and I’m trying to hide them from you because I’m scared that you’ll see them and then you’ll really see me. See the  _ monster _ that I am, and...you’ll leave.” Jon looked away, pulling his legs up to his chest, trying to make himself small so he could disappear.

Martin reached over and grabbed his hand. “You are not a monster, and adding a pair of wings isn’t going to make me think that you are either. I see you Jon, and I see how much you care and how good of a person you really are.” He grabbed Jon and pulled him in for a hug. “So, can I see these new wings?”

Jon chuckled, pulled back, and looked at Martin. He could tell that Martin was telling the truth, he doesn’t think Jon is a monster, and a pair of wings isn't going to change that. Jon pulled the sweaters over his head, releasing his wings, and spread them to their full size so Martin could get a good look at them.

“Gorgeous,” Martin said, “and the wings look good too.” Jon blushed and Martin smiled. “You don’t look like a monster Jon. If anything, the wings just make you cuter.”

Jon started to oppose being called cute, but Martin cut him off by leaning forward and placing his lips on Jon’s, and they sank into each other. As they kissed, they embraced and Jon’s wings wrapped themselves around him and Martin. When they pulled away, Martin ran his thumb over Jon’s cheek, looking into his eye. “So,” he stated, “do you think you can fly?”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on Twitter at @TonyJasper99 and Tumblr at tonyjasper99!


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